“When the people lack a proper sense of awe, some terrible fate decided by the universe at large will befall them”. -Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, 72
Awe No!
I was recently sitting in my chair with my eyes closed scanning my childhood in my mind’s eye VCR-style when I came across a frame that jumped out at me. It was the sense of awe I used to feel as a kid. I was sitting there wondering what happened to that particular feeling? It went missing. It had been so long since I felt pure child-grade awe with any kind of intensity, I had nearly forgotten about it. I used to feel it all the time. When I went to bed as a kid, I remember I could hardly wait to wake up the next day. Even a new pair of shoes used to fill me with so much awe, I’d jump out of bed and run downstairs each morning to put them on. I was absolutely convinced that a new pair of shoes made me run way faster…and I was ready to prove it to you! As I sat in my chair, I closed my eyes again and zoomed in on some parts of my childhood to see if I could pick up the trail and track down this elusive sense of awe because I really missed it.
Time Out
If you were a youngster in the days of video game arcades of the 80s and 90s then I’m sure you can recall the awe you felt walking inside of one. Wildly popular at the time, people of all ages and races flocked to malls across America where you were sure to find at least one. I remember as a kid countless times rushing through the front door of one such arcade called Time Out.
Although it was just a typical retail space in any average suburban mall, the storefront resembled a cosmic portal that would pull me toward its entrance like a tractor beam. With a couple of folded dollar bills clenched in my hand, I would sprint straight to the change machine because in that world a dollar bill was worthless until it was transformed into four shiny gold tokens. Although they looked like coins, they were really keys to the kingdom.
As I strolled through the aisles of that electronic forest of sights and sounds my mind could hardly choose which game to play. Speakers from every direction pumped out a wall of soul shaking sounds. Rows of arcade monitors beamed colored lights across the kaleidoscopic floor. All 5 of your senses were turned up full blast as you made your way from game to game, grinning from ear to ear. Each arcade box had its own name, decal, sound, screen and controls. Joust, Pac Man, Paper Boy, Galaga, and Asteroids to name a few. Nearly every game had a 2nd set of controls that allowed 2 people to play at the same time. Shoulder to shoulder, we played “doubles” for hours.
Time’s Up
And when you spent your last token you fully understood the experience was over. It was time to pack up, grab your skateboard (or call your mom on a payphone) and exit that world. You knew damn well there was no way you could bring the 300 lb. arcade home with you anymore than you could take the payphone with you. It had its place in the mall and that’s where it belonged, until next time. When was next time? Who knew? That was the magic of anticipation and things having their place. You had to imagine and anticipate the next time.
There was a sense of finality as you made your way back out of the arcade entrance, eyes readjusting to the bright mall lights, the electronic sounds slowly fading away from behind. Push the big glass doors at the main entrance and you were outside facing the vast parking lot. The afternoon sun forced your eyes to refocus on your familiar suburban world once again like the end of a shamanic journey through the desert.
Is Everything Awe Right?
I started wondering if awe is a feeling reserved only for children. There must be some way to bring it back. What is awe anyway? According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, awe is defined as an emotion variously combining dread, veneration and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime. Seriously? Dread? Veneration? Kids don’t even know what those words mean, nor should they. The dictionary may (loosely) define what awe is for a jaded adult but this definition in no way describes the same sense of awe a child would feel. For me, awe was a strong emotional cocktail made of: excitement, enthusiasm, anticipation, magic and a dash of gratitude mixed in a 32 oz. Slurpee cup.
Awe Yeah
Before the internet, we had bikes! A bike was a pedal-powered awe generating machine. It was a boy’s most prized possession. It was his transportation, freedom and means of self expression (think popping wheelies down the street). Without a bike, you were a nobody. With a bike, you were an elite member of a gang. It was your ticket into a group of neighborhood boys who rode together in search of adventrouble (real word I swear).
To a gang of 10 year old boys, what looked like just an ordinary suburban neighborhood, was an exciting treasure trove of things to be discovered and lessons to be learned. Sometimes those lessons were embarrassing like the time we got caught ding-dong ditching practically the entire neighborhood. And sometimes those adventures led to discoveries that were…highly educational. I saw my first naked woman during one such adventure. In fact, I saw lots of naked women that day. Rummaging through the dumpsters of my apartment complex was one of our favorite activities. There was no shame in it. None. To us it was like a big stinky toy box. One day we hit pay dirt. The motherlode. Some great unknown philanthropist and resident of the apartment complex had thrown away a couple boxes full of dirty magazines like Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. What a scene that must have been. Half a dozen wide-eyed, awe-struck, pre-pubescent boys sitting on their bikes parked in front of a dumpster reverently thumbing through pages of beautiful naked women as if we had uncovered the Dead Sea Scrolls. I distinctly remember thinking who in their right mind would throw away something so valuable. If Merriam-Webster really wanted to correctly define the word awe, they would have published a photo of the scene described above next to it. For a bunch of boys who’d never seen anything like that before, it was awesome!
Make Awe Great Again
It’s no secret that over the last 20 years or so, global events and the narratives that drive them have gradually become darker and gloomier. Whether it’s a pandemic, climate crisis or an alien invasion, it’s obvious that nearly all mainstream media channels are working overtime to pump out doom and gloom content around the clock (yawn). Movies and music are getting darker and more apocalyptic. Seems like the theme of nearly every movie or series these days is depicting the destruction of humanity or the entire planet. Mental illness and depression is hip and trending. There’s even strange demonic ritual stuff performed during Super Bowl halftime shows and concert events. Pure comedy. This stuff is everywhere. At the end of the day, they are free to broadcast it and we are free to ignore it.
My motto has always been to do the exact opposite of what the cultural narrative says. If it says stay home, I go outside. If it says, run for your life, I stay where I am. If it says panic and be afraid, I laugh and frolic around without a care. If it says be depressed and feel hopeless, then I write a blog to remind myself and anyone reading to remember that we’re of divine origin. Awe, wonder, optimism, adventure, fearlessness, freedom, goodwill, fellowship, creativity and curiosity are our factory default settings. By remembering the audacious 10 year old boy still inside me, I answered my own questions:
What is awe? – We are awe
Where did it go? – It didn’t go anywhere
What does it do? – It’s the light that chases away the fearful, the pessimistic and the apathetic (shoo!)
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